As I prepared myself to write about my bad luck streak I came across this quote and was reminded that life is all fun and games until the bad stuff happens to you, then...over time...life goes back to being fun and games.
"A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman."
After experiencing a long couple of weeks of bad luck I realized that I had become a bad luck stereotype fitting into the "when it rains it pours" and "it can only get better" categories. I thought I would share my bad luck streak with you because looking back on it now it was far more entertaining then terrible.
Where did it all begin? Ironically it was April Fools Day when things went from bad to worse. The day after the premiere of our show my grandma was admitted to the hospital, it was a very serious situation. I flew up to take care of her and make sure she was being treated well by the hospital. And while most people would find this a very sad and depressing experience, most people do not have my grandma in their lives.
Upon arriving at the hospital I went into my grandma's room where instead of getting the run down on the foods my grandma could and could not eat, what medications she was on, and when her physical therapist would be coming in, the nurse gave me a run down on where I could find her hairspray, comb, headbands, and make-up. The first words out of my grandma's mouth were, "I need to get my hair done and a pedicure, let's get out of this place." Mind you my grandma had just woken up out of a two week coma and was hooked up to lord knows how many alarms and gadgets (one being the alarm my mom asked them to put on her because she had already tried to escape). As I sat with my grandma over the next few days I was reminded of why I don't want kids for a long time and of how unique (and by unique I mean absolutely vain) my grandma really is. Not only did she attempt to escape with every excuse possible she was also trying to get real food from me (as she was only allowed liquids, no solid food or snacks). Every morning her routine was put on purple eyeshadow (or pink depending on her headband), pink lipstick, get a mani/pedi (by moi), brush her hair for at least 30 minutes (mind you her hair was not going anywhere, especially into a style suitable for a break-out), and then she would have me put a flower in her hair. She then reminded me that the flower needed to be on the right side so that everyone would know she was single. Her life in the hospital revolved around how good she looked, everything else was secondary. As I sat there with my hair not brushed, a sweat suit on, and no make-up the only thing I could think of was "I might look like shit, but these pretzels are damn good."
As I returned home to LA, a few weeks later, I was informed that our TV show had been cancelled from TV and would only be airing online. Bummed out I headed to the mall to grab a bite to eat (code for a Pinkberry). After indulging myself I went back to my car where I was greeted by a little old lady parked in front of me. Note: her car was facing out the wrong way meaning she had to either of backed in (not likely) or swooped in by my car to the spot in front of mine. As this women proceeded to mumble something to me with a nervous grin on her face I was in my own little world and just waved and said something along the lines of "oh yeah...have a nice day" Upon reaching my next destination I got out of my car, made a delivery, and this is when tragedy struck. My car had been completely side swiped! It was then that I knew that this foreign little old lady had been saying "Sorry I hit your car, is everything ok, please don't be pissed at me" while I just waved her on with a "have a nice day" Unbelievable, after being with my grandma in the hospital I could not believe that another little old lady had gotten the best of me.
A few days later I went to the post office to dispute a package that had been returned to my attention with a note from the postmaster "not a valid address". Mind you I ship stuff to this address quite often so I knew that was not the case. As I approach the counter and explain my story the asian woman says to me "Who write this? This like fantasy land. This handwriting so bad." This is when I let her know that I wrote it, and that I'd like her to get out of her fantasy land and mail my damn package.
The next day I head to work, business as usual. Now, for the most part LA gets perfect weather year round, this day was windy. As I was loading boxes into my car I bent over to pick one final box up and this is when it hit me....literally. Something large came from behind me and knocked me completely over (it happened to be the busiest day for pedestrians that day for some reason, lucky me) as I struggled to figure out what had hit me, people were already picking up the object and helping me up with the casual "are you ok?" And I was ok, that is why my reply to the gentleman who was kind enough to grab the object was, "yeah I'm fine, I'm just pissed" I had realized at this point that what had hit me was a huge palm leave, what are the chances? After living in LA for over 5 years and always seeing these huge things in the road I had always wondered if anyone ever got hit by one, well the answer was yes, and that person was me. It was like the freaking Wizard of Oz, I couldn't believe it. Maybe my hand writing was from fantasy land because at this point I felt like I was living in one.
Some people are either born with luck or they just don't have any at all. The catch is that those that are born with it experience the full spectrum. They experience good luck just as often as they do bad. I guess I was overdue for some bad....job well done universe...you got me!
I'm famous for always packing a snack, loving sweets, and making fun of people. I love people watching and can never pass up a free cocktail. I like to participate in everything and I loooove to play pranks on people (especially my cousin Josh) If you can't laugh at yourself then you shouldn't be able to laugh at all. Life is what you make it....so make it amazing!!!